


Cocoon

by sidebyside_archivist



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-08-01
Updated: 2002-08-01
Packaged: 2020-06-25 06:01:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19739746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidebyside_archivist/pseuds/sidebyside_archivist
Summary: Answer to the first line challenge of the K/S Online Festival 2nd Wave.





	Cocoon

Spock's fingers dug into the sensitive flesh of Jim's shoulder, and his world went instantly black. The artificial gravity choose that moment to waver, tossing them both against the bulkhead as Spock caught the slumping form of his captain. He had to acknowledge as he hooked his arm around Kirk's chest that emotion had at least partially driven his decision to commit a court martial offense.

He peered through the smoggy air down the corridor. The distant hiss of a hull breach sounded ominously between various warning klaxons, the loudest of which warned of the contamination from the now derelict fission/fusion engine chamber.

The emergency path lights of the private yacht _Silver Lady_ led down a side corridor behind them, in the opposite of Kirk's intended direction just moments before. As he backtracked, Spock replayed in his mind Kirk's insistence that they attempt to finish the mission despite the severe damage to the hull of the _Lady_. Spock considered that he could explain to Starfleet that low-pressure sickness had affected Kirk's command abilities. The thin air was even impacting the Vulcan's ability to carry Kirk without effort.

Spock shifted Kirk's weight in his arms and then peered at each escape pod in turn, passing over the cryogenic, single occupant ones to select one of two four-humanoid pods at the end of the row. Three layers of portal slid open to his touch on the emergency panel. Spock and his burden barely fit inside the claustrophobic airlock tube. The portals closed behind their boot soles and nothing moved long enough for Spock to begin to believe that they would be trapped irrevocably in the airlock. Finally, the pod's systems finished activating and he was able to crawl inside.

Spock hurriedly fixed Kirk to one of the two bunks and himself in a jump seat just before the auto-launch sequence completed. The five g's of unmitigated acceleration nearly knocked Spock unconscious. 

Dark emotion threatened Spock's control as the immediate danger passed with the dampening of the g-force. He had disobeyed Kirk and he deeply regretted it despite the necessity of it. His own estimate of success of Kirk's plan to jettison the engine module and continue on

with the maneuvering jets had such a low probability of success that no matter how many decimal points Spock took the estimate out to it still rounded to zero.

The pod drifted into a stable point three of light speed and Spock cleared his thoughts and unhooked from the jump seat. He floated to the nose of the pod. Kirk lay still, held down to the bunk by the restraining straps. The small control panel between the bunks now read safe on the ambient radiation indicator. A search of the lockers in the nose beside the controls revealed four weeks of rations, one week of fresh water to supplement the filters, four disposable jumpsuits, a toiletry kit, an entertainment padd, and a substantial medical kit.

Spock hooked his feet under the straps between the bunks and pulled himself down to approximately sit on the edge of Kirk's bunk. The basic medicorder beeped as it finished the scan of the unconscious human. As he read the output, Spock was forced to suppress a surge of emotion. Kirk's exposure to the radiation from the ruptured field of the engines had been far greater than expected, at least 700 roentgens. The _Silver Lady's_ internal displays had been too crude to properly gauge the risk of not immediately abandoning ship after the collision. Spock should not have allowed Kirk to bully him into estimating that there could possibly be time to work on the engines. But he could not logically have insisted there wasn't time given the data he had.

Spock combed the vials of medication. The _Lady_ was a high-end, luxury yacht. Surely the manufacturer must have considered that evacuees could be suffering radiation poisoning. Spock could not suppress a sigh of relief as the fourth pouch label read "beutelroxin" the most broad-spectrum radiation treatment available. He administered the maximum dose to Kirk and re-stowed the kit, keeping the medicine pouch and medicorder in one of the net pouches at the head of the bunk.

Hours later, Kirk woke with a groan followed by a grunt upon discovering his arms restrained. He opened his eyes and considered his surroundings.

"How are you feeling, Captain?" Spock asked as he unhooked all but the chest and thigh straps restraining Kirk. These he left to prevent him from floating off the bunk.

Kirk swallowed hard on a raw throat to answer: "All right, I guess." He lifted his hand and closed and opened his fingers.

"You have severe radiation sickness, Captain, which is why your muscles are sore," Spock commented.

Kirk looked at him squarely.

"I have been giving you a treatment from the pod's medical kit. I expect it to help, but I do not know how much or how soon it will do so."

Kirk reached to unhook the chest strap and pulled himself to a sitting orientation. "Is there water?"

Spock handed him a squeeze bottle and he drank from it thirstily before handing it back. He rubbed his eyes gently and finally said, "I apologize for passing out on you."

Spock froze. "Captain?"

"I must have passed out on the way back to the engine module. I don't remember getting there." Kirk's brow furrowed. "Good thing we didn't get there, I guess."

Spock relaxed a miniscule amount and looked out at the stars in the clear portal beside Kirk's bunk.

"Did you detect an emergency beacon from the other ship?"

"No, it remains dark."

"Stupid to not expect them to pull something like that," Kirk said, referring to the escaped criminals from the Orion prison planet.

"We could not have predicted the escapees would have yet another ship at their disposal, Jim. The coordination required for that is quite high."

"Friends in the right places," Kirk stated darkly.

"The Orion security forces are not known for their lack of corruption." Spock pulled his tricorder free of the bunk strap and studied the screen for long moment. "I still see no sign of their return. They undoubted took the opportunity to put distance between themselves and Federation Space."

Kirk released a breath and adjusted the strap so he could pull his knees up and wrap his arms around them. Spock watched him do this with uncertain eyes.

Kirk tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. "Four days until the Enterprise finds us?" he asked.

"At the earliest," Spock replied. "Do you have any appetite?"

Kirk shook his head.

Spock reached into the locker and retrieved a ration pouch. "You should try to eat if you can." Kirk met his eyes and Spock realized Kirk was struggling mightily to control his physical distress.

"I really don't think I can keep it down," Kirk said quietly. Spock returned the pouch to the locker. "How about you?" Kirk asked.

"I do not need sustenance at this time," Spock replied.

"I meant, how serious is your radiation sickness?" Kirk tried to focus his gaze on Spock long enough to judge his condition. His eyes felt incredibly tired all of a sudden.

"Vulcans are far more resistant to gamma rays, Captain."

"You've scanned yourself?" Kirk asked.

"No," Spock admitted, "but--"

"Do it," Kirk ordered, mustering some command tone.

Spock obeyed. He aimed the medicorder at himself until it beeped and glanced at the display before passing it to Kirk. Kirk squinted his eyes to bring the display into clarity.

"It isn't completely normal," he commented.

"It is well within a safe margin. I do not wish to use any of our medicine supply on myself since your need is much greater," Spock stated with a hard tone to his voice.

Kirk nodded his acceptance of that logic and turned to pull himself back down to the bunk.

Spock moved immediately to assist, touching him carefully to avoid bruising. He restrapped Kirk's chest lightly and pulled the blanket and elastic net over him and latched it to help simulate normal gravity sleep. Humans tended to have dreams of falling if their limbs were left free to float.

Kirk slept soundly while Spock meditated over his conflict. He was the only being in the universe who knew of his disloyalty to Kirk. If he did not confess to Kirk, he would not lose Kirk's trust, which was the basis of their working relationship. The thought of not ever informing Kirk left Spock feeling a great unease as he would no longer consider himself deserving of Kirk's trust.

The time for Kirk's next dose arrived six hours later, interrupting Spock's thoughts. Kirk stirred as Spock used the hypo on his arm.

Kirk struggled weakly against the netting and Spock helped him free his hands. "Can you give me the water again?"

Spock did so. "Just a swallow, Jim. You are not actually in need of liquid."

Kirk paused with the nozzle at his lips before taking a small sip and giving back the container. He licked his lips and tried to convince himself that the raging thirst in his throat wasn't real. He tried to smile at Spock in reassurance but couldn't muster more than a wry glance. He rolled onto his side and sat up on his elbow.

"Is there anything to do?"

"There is a padd with games and other entertainment," Spock offered. He retrieved it and handed it to Kirk before returning to the other bunk.

Kirk forced his eyes to focus on the screen and found a traditional chess game. He moved a pawn to queen three and handed it back to Spock.

The game went back and forth for five moves before Kirk conceded. "2-D chess doesn't allow for enough creativity to give me a chance against you," Kirk commented. "I'm too tired to try again," he added and lay back down.

He woke to dry heaves. Spock watched helplessly as Kirk regained control of himself before moving to Kirk's bunk.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Spock asked.

Kirk unhooked the blanket and started to rise off the bunk. "Help me to the lav."

Spock pulled out the stowable lavatory and helped Kirk with the curtain. The lavatory worked with a flow of air instead of gravity and the curtain was necessary to keep it working properly.

Kirk stifled a groan at the abdominal cramps that had appeared out of nowhere. He emptied himself of worst diarrhea of his life, grateful that the lav worked exceptionally well. They should get this model for the shuttles, he considered as he cleaned up with tender swipes of

moist towels that the lav had well-stocked.

Spock helped him back to the bunk with careful movements. Kirk wanted to sit up for a while but Spock's hands urged him to lie down again and he didn't resist. He lay staring at the ceiling, snatches of songs and poems playing litanies in his head almost maddeningly. Half a day passed before he mercifully fell asleep.

"I did not intend to disturb you," Spock intoned when Kirk next opened his eyes. Spock was holding the medicorder over him, studying the readout. He pressed his lips together and put his hands on Kirk's face. Tilting his head back he looked into his nostrils, then at his gums. Spock released Kirk and considered him in silence.

"I'll let you know if my nose starts bleeding. How am I otherwise?" Kirk asked.

"Your blood cell count is dropping," Spock said. Kirk could hear that unique tint to his voice that meant Spock was worried about him. "How do you feel?"

Kirk took a slow deep breath. "Like hell," he replied, then smiled a little as if to imply that things could be worse. "I wish the Enterprise, and Bones, would get here sooner. Not that I don't appreciate your care. . . " he added quickly.

"I understand, Captain."

Kirk took a moment to satisfy himself that Spock hadn't taken that as an insult and closed his eyes.

The next few virtual days passed for Kirk as a continuum of aching movement and nausea. Spock tried not to hover, which was difficult in their small quarters. Kirk kept his spirits up, mostly to keep Spock from worrying too much.

When Kirk next awoke, he finally felt somewhat better. He found the padd in the bunk pouch and read through the first few chapters of a novel. He realized that Spock had been completely silent and turned his attention to his friend.

"Spock?" Kirk inquired. Spock met his gaze and Kirk confirmed that something was going on with the Vulcan by seeing the shadow lurking there. He turned back to his novel and said, "Either I'm much sicker than you have let on or something else is wrong that you haven't told me about yet."

"I have not held back about your condition, Jim."

"Okay, that's good to know." He flipped through the index of a basic science book, just to have something to look at. "So something else is going on. Something about the Enterprise? It is almost overdue from your estimate."

"I have no further information about the ship," Spock stated. Kirk was going to force it from him, Spock realized, removing the choice from his responsibility.

"The pod is in good shape as far as I can tell," Kirk continued.

"Affirmative."

Kirk sat silently with the padd for a long time. "Those are the only three things that could possibly matter right now, so whatever it is that is bothering you, you might as well not suffer with it."

Kirk's words flowed seductively over Spock. He had been deciding that his own faith in himself was actually more important than Kirk's faith in him and Kirk was leading him to the same result.

"I committed mutiny," Spock stated finally with some pain in his voice.

Kirk's brow furrowed over the padd and he blinked rapidly before turning to look at his First to see the utter seriousness there.

"Hmmm," Kirk murmured. He took a deep breath and waited. Spock was not further illuminating. "Recently?"

"Yes, quite."

"Well, you might as well come out with it," Kirk said in a friendly voice.

"On the way to the engine room on the _Silver Lady_ we passed the muster corridor and I decided that our path had zero likelihood of success." Spock paused. "I nerve pinched you and evacuated in this

escape pod."

"You didn't feel like discussing it?" Kirk asked, annoyed.

"We had discussed it as much as time would allow. You were unusually determined in your course, I believe, because you disliked being beaten by, and I quote you, 'the dregs of Orion society'. Had I known at the time how severe the radiation had been I could easily use it as an excuse, but I did not, so I cannot."

Kirk returned his eyes to the padd and sat silently.

"Do you intend to make a habit of disobedience?" Kirk asked in a factual tone.

"No, Captain," Spock answered, his voice breaking on the word "captain."

Kirk's head snapped up. "Spock. . ." he said gently and shook his head. He unhooked himself and despite Spock's protestations, maneuvered himself over to the other bunk. It was a mistake to do so as cramps doubled him up as he hooked his feet. Spock's hands guided him down and held him steady against the bunk, holding with the least force possible.

"Spock. . ." he repeated, absolutely determined to overcome his physical limits. Eventually the cramps eased and he said, "It was the right decision, but don't do it again. I apologize for being too pigheaded, but that is no excuse for your actions. You could have been more forceful."

"I had given you the data I had and you continued anyway," Spock stated.

"Tell me that you have a gut suspicion or refuse to go any farther." Kirk slipped the bunk strap over his bent knee and Spock released his shoulder and arm.

"That in itself is disregarding command rank," Spock pointed out.

"It is better than your current alternative." Kirk studied him. "Really, I understand what it is like to know some particular action is the best way without being able to justify it logically. You have some human instincts in there and you shouldn't limit yourself to making decisions based on factors which you can spell out in an equation."

Kirk felt total exhaustion tugging at him, but instead of pulling him down with gravity it made him want to allow his limbs to float away as though he were thinking of flying. "Basically, I forgive you and trust that you won't do it again."

"Thank you, Captain," Spock said quietly.

Kirk gestured with his thumb behind him. "I'm going to go back over to my bunk now. . ." Spock watched him move back to the other side of the pod and slowly arrange the blanket net to strap himself down.

Kirk lay back and rubbed his face, then rubbed his hands through his hair and froze as his hands came away coated in loosened hair. He looked at his hands in trepidation. There was less hair on them than it felt like there would be, but it still disturbed him. The hairs began to drift on the tiny currents of air in the pod.

Spock was at his side instantly, using a disposable towel to clean Kirk's hands before the hair could drift around the pod. Without comment, Spock found a brush in the toiletry kit and used it to remove the remaining loose hair. Kirk held still with his eyes closed until the procedure was finished. Kirk's hair still looked normal when he finished, to Spock's relief.

Kirk watched Spock clear the brush into the trash receptacle and said, "The medicine doesn't seem to be working very well."

Spock finished stowing everything before turning to Kirk. "The medicine is working quite well if my estimate of your exposure is correct."

"I will cease to be ungrateful then," Kirk said, resting his head against his folded arm. "I should be close to needing another dose."

"Another eighteen minutes," Spock stated soothingly.

Kirk hesitated before asking, "How much of the treatment do we have?"

"An excessive amount since the pod was stocked to treat four passengers."

It occurred to Kirk to challenge Spock's earlier assertion that he himself should not be medicated so as to save all of the supply, but Kirk didn't have the energy.

Spock awoke from the first short nap he had allowed himself, to find Kirk rubbing more loose hair from his head. He had an attitude of defeat about him that seemed very alien to his nature.

Spock took out the brush and handed it to him. Kirk gave him a wry smile and accepted it. He frowned as he used it.

Kirk finished catching and disposing of the stray hair and said, "You know, I feel a little hungry." Spock started at that statement. "I don't suppose any of the ration packs look the least bit appetizing."

Spock took out the five varieties and Kirk choose mushroom flavored. He barely had the finger strength to tear open the package and Spock ached to help him but held back.

Kirk sipped slowly at the wet mush of the ration through the corner tear for ten minutes before handing it over for Spock to finish. At Spock's hesitation, Kirk said, "You haven't eaten anything."

Spock took the package and squeezed some of the contents into his mouth. It was more palatable than expected.

Three hours later, Kirk was hungry again. This time he ate over half a package and made Spock finish the rest.

With a grand effort at keeping hopefulness at bay, Spock took out the medicorder and ran a scan on Kirk. It showed good recovery of organ function and blood cell counts.

"You are doing well, Jim," Spock said.

"I feel a lot better," he admitted, sitting back against the lockers with the padd. "I wish I knew where the ship was."

"Indeed."

Kirk put the padd down and leaned over between the bunks where Spock sat meditating. "You really are all right?" Kirk asked.

"Yes, Jim."

"No nausea?"

"None."

"No hair loss?" Kirk ran his hand over the side of Spock's head and tugged gently on the fine strands.

"Correct," Spock replied stiffly and a flush filled his temples and spread rapidly to his ears.

"Are you blushing?" Kirk asked in disbelief. "I didn't know Vulcans blushed."

Spock stared over Kirk's shoulder out the far portal. "Your action was unexpected."

Kirk grinned like a cat and let it drop for now. He settled back against the lockers and continued where he left off in a word puzzle.

Virtual days past. Kirk ate extra rations to make up for his earlier fast. Spock scanned him yet again and pronounced him seventy-five percent recovered. Their attention shifted from concern about Kirk to the whereabouts of the Enterprise. Their suppositions became more far-fetched as the hours stretched on.

"We should come up with a contingency plan," Kirk announced during a lull. He sat up and began going through the lockers. "As much as I'd like to eat five more rations today, it is probably time to start rationing the rations. Or R&R as we jokingly called it during academy survival training."

"You have needed to regain your strength."

"But it is our limiting resource, right?"

Spock nodded. We are close enough to a local red giant to provide the pod cell array with sufficient power to operate the air and water filtration systems nearly indefinitely, though we are currently slow draining the power cells. We should dim the lighting when it is not absolutely necessary and that will allow them to recharge." He watched Kirk thinking. "I can go without sustenance for six weeks easily if I spend most of my time in deep meditation."

"You've already gone without much for the last week."

Spock nodded acknowledgment of that.

Kirk shut the lockers and sat down, moving easily now in the absent gravity. "I am just using the padd if you want to shut off the lights to preserve power."

Spock did so, leaving the status display on the controls, the padd, the stow light for the lav and the starlight from the portals as the only illumination. Kirk considered the stars in their stillness for a long time before settling back with a novel.

The darkness and the soft whoosh of the air system wrapped around them like a comfortable blanket, their own little floating world adrift in the universe. Kirk stopped focusing on the padd and let his mind wander.

"Spock?"

"Yes, Captain."

Kirk breathed in silence, deep in thought. "Do you ever regret anything?"

Spock hesitated in replying, "Yes. Sometimes." His voice sounded factual as though he was giving a report. He did not continue.

Kirk chuckled slightly. "I suppose you aren't going to tell me _what_. But I didn't ask, did I?" Kirk took a few deep breaths, grateful his cramps seemed to be over. "I regret the mistakes I made as a junior officer, when I thought I knew what I was doing but didn't. I made such stupid mistakes. I nearly got fellow crewmembers killed several times. Once I did."

"That was an essential part of your training, Captain, allowing you the freedom to make mistakes so that you would grow as a commander." Spock spoke out of the darkness.

"That is essentially what my captain said at the time." Eventually, he added, "You don't seem to regret anything."

"I once had a sample of rare Berenthen crystals that I ruined because the solvent I used on the slide had lost its efficacy. I do regret that."

Kirk grinned to himself, grateful for the blackness.

"You might yet regret the Enterprise not showing up," Kirk commented as he ran his hand around the portal. Even at one-third of light speed the stars were dead still beyond the transparency.

"I am wondering perhaps if I should have placed each of us in a cryogenic escape pod."

"No," Kirk responded immediately. "I want to face death kicking and screaming should it come to that. Given a choice, I wouldn't mind spending my last weeks with you."

Spock moved suddenly in the darkness, turning to face Kirk. "Indeed? I find that. . . surprising."

"Why? You are very important to me, Spock," Kirk stated.

"I have observed that, but I have also observed a hard limit to your attention."

Kirk touched the portal, leaving rings of condensation behind where his fingertips rested on the cold transparent aluminum. "I have to do that on the ship, Spock. Otherwise. . ." He drifted silent.

"What about off of the ship?" Spock asked.

Kirk froze. "I'm not certain. You mean, as in, right now?" Kirk thumbed the padd off and let it float out of his hand. He took a deep breath and suddenly couldn't feel any of the effects of the radiation sickness. His chest heated up. His mind buzzed. "I think that would be all right."

Spock moved over above Kirk's bunk. Kirk couldn't see him except as an indistinct grey form. He reached up and brushed Spock's sleeve. He grasped Spock's arms and pulled him down to his level. Spock put his hand on Kirk's face and then in the center of his chest as if to feel his heartbeat. Kirk pulled down more and reached up to guide Spock's face to his own, surprised when Spock's mouth aggressively found his instead of the other way around.

Kirk's heart thudded against his chest wall as Spock continued to kiss him passionately. Suddenly, Spock pushed them apart, flexing the hand on Kirk's chest. "Perhaps your health is not sufficient for-" Spock began.

"Don't worry about that," Kirk insisted. He reached for the net hooks to free himself from the bed. Then kicked his feet free and wrapped a leg around the back of Spock's to pull them into some semblance of full body contact. Spock relented on pushing them apart and instead put his arms around Kirk and began nuzzling his earlobe.

"Spock," Kirk said in surprise. He took the hint and slid his hands under Spock's tunic just as they drifted into the side of the pod. "Mmmf," Kirk commented as his elbow connected with the edge of the portal. The pain reminded of him of all of the other aches he had just five minutes ago. "We should strap in a bit."

"If you wish," Spock said from his neck.

"If I wish," Kirk echoed, amused. In the darkness the person nuzzling his neck could have been anyone and Kirk's mind kept insisting it must be someone other than his First. He brushed Spock's ears with his palms to convince himself.

Kirk wriggled free of Spock's hands slightly to give himself space to pull his own tunic over his head. It felt good to be free of it as he had been wearing it for full shifts without more than a series of

towelette baths. Spock pulled him close again immediately, spreading his hands out to feel the skin of Kirk's torso.

The hot touch ignited Kirk. He kicked free of his trousers and pulled on Spock's hips to press himself hard against Spock's lean frame.

"It is good to feel you so healthy, Jim," Spock said in his ear.

They had drifted against the ceiling and Spock put a hand up and unerringly propelled them to his bunk. He hooked his feet and pushed Kirk down against the bed and fixed the chest strap over him.

Kirk's eyes had adapted to the darkness as well as possible but he could still only make out Spock as a dark form against a barely lighter background. His legs floated free until Spock caught them under his shins. 

Spock stroked Kirk's sides again, unceasingly fascinated by his muscular form. He began tasting his smooth chest.

"Spock-" Kirk began and tried to unhook himself.

"Relax, Jim. I detect that this is wearing you out and you should not expend the energy while you are recovering."

Kirk grimaced at the thought of not satisfying his aching erection. At that moment Spock's hand found his cock and began milking it.

"Are you reading my mind?" Kirk asked.

"Just your surface desires and immediate needs," Spock replied. "If you wish me to meld more deeply with you. . . "

Kirk sensed he was being baited. "No. That is good enough. For now."

Spock's hand became more adept and Kirk found himself on the edge.

"I sense even this activity is wearing on you. I believe we should cease."

"What?" Kirk said in shock. Spock you can't just-" But he was cut off by Spock's mouth closing over his head and him coming instantly in a short burst of pleasure.

Kirk relaxed his body after the orgasm passed. Spock's mouth continued to explore Kirk's abdomen and again Kirk had to force himself to imagine that the figure in the darkness was Spock.

"You seem very interested in that," Kirk observed.

"You taste very exotic."

"Do I?"

Spock rose up and pulled the blanket over Kirk. He stripped off his own uniform, fetched Kirk's clothing from the air vent where it had drifted, and joined the other under the cover in his tight-fitting thermal shirt and knee-length shorts.

"You are going to leave those on?" Kirk asked.

"You will be intolerably hot if I do not insulate myself from you, Jim."

"You are pretty warm," Kirk observed, running his hand over Spock's ribs and down his hip, the advanced fabric clinging and sliding interestingly.

"May I ask you a question, Jim?"

Kirk felt exhaustion and the sickness tugging him down into mental greyness. "Of course," he answered anyway.

"Will we remain as we were upon returning to the Enterprise, or as we are now?"

Kirk digested that. "Are you asking if we are going to be lovers on the ship?"

"Essentially."

Kirk thought about that, the complications, the sneaking around during third shift. His cock ached with partial fulfillment. "I would like to be," he answered finally.

"You should rest," Spock observed.

"What about you? What do you want?"

"I am open to. . . exploring each other more."

"Tasting each other more," Kirk teased.

"Indeed."

"Assuming there is an Enterprise to return to."

"Sleep, Jim," Spock insisted.

Kirk woke to dim light in the pod. Spock was sitting on the other bunk, still in his thermal wear. The tight fabric showed off his muscular form. Kirk's penis woke up at the sight. He stretched his hands over his head and arched his back to distract himself. What would the protocol be, he wondered, for requesting more fellatio from a Vulcan.

"Any sign of the ship?" Kirk asked instead.

Spock shook his head. The look on his face made Kirk wonder what the current odds-of-being-located estimate was.

Kirk got up and used the lav and then washed up as effectively as possible. He returned to the empty bunk and decided to be blunt. "May I ask why you are over there?"

Spock's chin came up. "I do not wish to drain you while you are recovering. My actions last night were most imprudent."

"I feel fine this morning." He declined to get dressed and pulled the blanket half over himself. "I like to wake up in someone's arms."

With a bow of his head, Spock said, "My apologies then. I did not realize. . . "

Kirk shrugged it off and pressed back against the wall beside the portal, staring beyond the other side of the pod.

"It is time for your medication." Spock took out the pouch and propelled himself across the pod. He hooked his leg under a strap and took out the injector and a vial. His long fingers assembled the unit expertly before he grasped Kirk's arm in a gentle grip and aimed and activated the injector.

Spock was sitting close, so Kirk leaned forward to touch their lips together.

"You must rest, Captain." He moved to push himself away. Kirk grabbed a hold of him.

"I feel fine," Kirk insisted.

Spock grasped Kirk's arm tenderly. "You are still bruising from the injections," Spock pointed out the array of blue and purple marks on Kirk's arm.

Kirk tugged him closer anyway. "We'll just stick to low-bruising activities."

Spock continued to resist. "I do not wish to hurt you."

"You want to wait?"

"Affirmative. Until you are fully recovered."

"Until we are dead, maybe."

"Jim. . . "

Kirk had him by the arms, in as tight a grip as he could manage. He cringed as he asked, "What are the odds?"

"The odds?" Spock asked.

"You know what I am referring to," Kirk insisted, shaking him slightly. "What are the odds?"

Spock took a breath. "Five point seven two to one."

Kirk loosened his grip. "That isn't bad."

Spock frowned. "It is dropping rapidly. I cannot account for the current length of delay. The beacons on both the _Silver Lady_ and the pod are activated. The Enterprise knows in what sector we were pursuing the renegades. They were only three days away at mean warp speed when the accident occurred. Add to that the time for the beacon signal to reach them, and-"

"It adds up to four days not ten and a half."

Spock nodded.

Kirk pulled him close and kissed him aggressively then just as suddenly broke away and stroked his face reverently for long minutes. "I'm sorry I got angry with you just now," Kirk breathed.

"Your frustration is understandable."

Kirk traced Spock's brows with his thumbs. "I don't want to wait."

Spock hesitated before nodding and Kirk wrapped him up in his arms.

They kissed meticulously for long minutes before Kirk let his body respond. Feeling Kirk's fullness press against him, Spock let his hands wander more intimately over Kirk's naked body. Kirk moaned into his mouth as he kneaded his buttocks, fingers brushing his anus.

"I want you," Kirk whispered after freeing his mouth.

"I cannot risk harming you, Jim."

Kirk huffed in frustration. "You want to wait."

"I see no alternative."

Kirk pushed him to arms-length. "You are making me hope the Enterprise doesn't find us for a while."

Spock's eyebrow quirked. "I do not see that that matters."

"It would be more complicated. We would have to wait until McCoy finished with me. . . until we finished the mission, maybe. . ." Kirk looked him up and down. "I want to make you moan in ecstasy-" Spock's eyes widened at that. "Anyway, it is just easier here away from all responsibility."

Spock took a deep breath as if to control himself. Kirk drew his hands down over Spock's chest and felt for his penis through the fabric of his thermal pants. He stroked it through the cloth until the hard shape of it stood out against his abdomen.

"Let go," Kirk said, referring to the bunk strap Spock had hooked over his thigh.

Spock popped the strap free and let Kirk move him up with his hands so he could pull Spock's tight shirt up with his teeth, revealing his cock head poking out over his waistband. Kirk licked the soft knob, eliciting a quick intake of breath. Kirk continued licking and sucking just the exposed glans until Spock spoke his name out of need and a milky liquid dripped from his slit.

"I like making you ache with need."

Spock shook his head and said gruffly, "I hope you also like relieving the need you generate, because I am quite needful." Spock glanced down at himself but made no move to free himself from the confining fabric.

Kirk pulled Spock's waistband most of the way down, but not all. Then he ran his tongue slowly up the underside. Spock made a small sound in his throat which made Kirk smile as he repeated the move. Spock's hand gripped Kirk's shoulder tighter as he did it yet a third time. He hung motionless above Kirk, trembling, waiting.

Kirk took pity on him and pulled his cock and testicles free of his pants and closed his mouth over Spock's coppery cock. Spock made a sound of exquisite relief as Kirk moved his mouth over his glans. Kirk shifted the narrow hips in front of him to angle Spock better and tilted his head back and pulled Spock into his throat. Spock exhaled in a long rumbling moan which didn't stop when he took another breath or when Kirk pushed him away and pulled him back again.

Kirk repeatedly swallowed Spock as he floated above him, just below the ceiling. Spock hung limp, overwhelmed as Kirk switched to sucking just his head and stroking him with his hand. Kirk continued his ministrations for a long while, Spock breathing harshly.

Finally, Spock said, "Harder, Jim."

Kirk released Spock from this mouth. "Which?"

"Your hand," Spock rasped.

Kirk squeezed harder on the next strokes, moving more rapidly.

"Harder."

Kirk obeyed, squeezing almost as hard as he could. Spock grappled with his hand and demonstrated by forcing Kirk's hand to strike his groin firmly at the end of the stroke. Kirk followed his lead and Spock released his hand. Spock began moaning with each bump against his groin. Kirk made his tongue circle Spock's glans madly as he continued stroking with thumb and finger in a ring shape.

Moments later, a thin, custardy tasting liquid coated his tongue. He pulled off to swallow and then sucked hard on the tip to extract the rest.

Spock's breathing finally returned to normal and he stroked Kirk's hair as he continued to lap at Spock's softening cock. When his cock became too soft to stand out, Kirk pulled Spock's pants down farther to suck each of his balls in turn.

"Jim," Spock said to get his attention. "I am quite satiated."

Kirk released him. "Good. I wanted you to enjoy that."

Spock floated back down to the bunk. "It was quite pleasurable."

Kirk embraced him and they kissed again for a long while. Kirk paused and pulled his fingers through Spock's hair. His cock bumped against Spock's thigh.

"Do we have a lube?" Spock nodded and Kirk released him to fetch it. "Unless you don't want to. . . "

Spock reached the lockers and pulled out the small tube. He pushed himself back in Kirk's direction and said casually, "I am willing to allow you to penetrate me."

Kirk's cock jumped at the words. "I have to admit I haven't noticed you entertaining male lovers. You are more willing than I would have expected."

Spock handed him the tube. "I have never had a male lover."

Kirk gazed at him in silence for a long moment, the thought of sex with a virgin dampening his libido somewhat.

"You are sure this is all right?"

"Let me verify that the Enterprise is not coming into range."

Kirk nodded and watched as Spock scanned with the tricorder. He spread the tube's contents onto his hand and milked himself to keep from losing his erection.

"That wasn't what I meant," Kirk pointed out.

Spock hooked the tricorder back in a pouch. "Jim, this is a minor intimacy for me compared to a meld or even to the vulnerability of allowing you to bring me to orgasm."

"I suppose there is that."

Spock studied Kirk and his soft phallus. "I am willing if you wish to. I have no hesitation toward allowing you to take pleasure in me. Quite the contrary, as I have rarely seen you with a man and I would not presume to monopolize your sexual attention were I not satisfactorily pleasurable for you." Spock straightened and slipped off his shirt and then his pants. He hooked these into a net and floated before Kirk naked.

Spock cocked an eyebrow at him in question.

Kirk took a breath and unhooked from the bunk. He pushed off softly and drifted into Spock. They grasped at each other as the collided, bare skin sliding over bare skin. Spock's hand found Kirk's penis and brought him back to arousal.

"You are completely certain?"

"Jim, you are making much too much out of this."

"I can't imagine anything more intimate."

"There are some melds I would like to show you then."

Kirk pulled him closer and rubbed his cock on his leg in a humping motion. "After I fuck your brains out, we can meld all you want."

Spock nodded as though that were acceptable. Kirk spun him around in the air to bring his buttocks toward himself. Spock put a hand out to stop himself striking the wall. Kirk inserted a slick finger into his anus and wiggled it around quickly before pulling it out and without prevarication, pressing in with his cock.

"God, you're hot," he commented as he pulled Spock over himself.

Spock reached down for one of the bunk straps and held it loosely to keep them both from rotating as Kirk began thrusting into him.

"Does that feel all right?" Kirk asked as he began to increase his pace.

"It is acceptable."

Kirk halted. "Am I hurting you?"

"There is no pain. But it is uncomfortable. More intimate than I expected," he qualified.

"I thought so," Kirk said without rancor.

"You have been taken so?" Spock asked.

"A few times. Back in Iowa, at the academy."

"I would have liked to have been them."

Kirk paused and stroked Spock's sides. "You'll get your chance, Spock," he said soothingly. "You can have me as much as you want, believe me. I can't wait to feel you pressed against my back, your beautiful cock parting me."

He resumed thrusting, holding himself back hard from starting to climax. "You feel very good," Kirk said.

"You must finish healing quickly, Jim."

Kirk bumped the side of the pod with his shoulder and pushed off back to the near center of the space. They rotated around Spock's hold on the strap. Kirk bent his knees so that he wasn't touching anything but Spock. He closed his eyes and felt like he was flying, his hips propelling him through the air as he buried his cock in hot tightness.

"Oh, Spock," he gasped, spittle floating from his mouth as he came unexpectedly. He finished with frantic, deep thrusts and cries of pleasure.

He didn't pull out as he softened. Instead he wrapped his arms around Spock's waist and rested that way. He idly rubbed Spock's soft penis as they floated there. Eventually it grew long and hard in his hands.

"When we get back to the Enterprise, where do you want to fuck me first?"

Spock was silent in thought for a while. "I would like you to bend over your desk."

"Mmmm, a symbol of power, I like that. We can do that." He milked Spock's cock more vigorously. "You are certainly qualified to be the one in command."

Spock shook his head. "I do not wish-"

"I know, you've said that." He kissed a bony shoulder blade.

They floated many minutes longer until Kirk's cock stirred inside its confines. He pulled Spock's hips firmly against himself as his cock lengthened. When it was stiff enough, he began thrusting again. "Tell me if you get sore because I am going to go a very long time this time around."

Spock nodded and allowed himself to relax more. He tapped into Kirk's pleasure a little. It startled him in its complexity. Kirk's hand returning to Spock's erection broke the link. Kirk explored his penis as he stroked it, lingering on each feature, his ridge, the cords on the shaft, the furred base. His touch then reached lower to cup his furred balls.

Spock parted his legs willingly, his pride only complaining weakly at this ungainly position. It was drowned out by the sudden total need to have Kirk know him completely. Kirk rolled his balls against his groin one at a time, making Spock's cock ache fiercely.

Spock spoke his name in a pleading voice and Kirk pulled out and turned Spock in the air. He grabbed narrow hips and pulled his face toward Spock's groin, capturing his head in his mouth. It took a few awkward moments of grappling before Kirk settled on a hand between Spock's legs, pressing against his tailbone for stabilizing his actions.

He stroked Spock full length as before and sucked hard on his head. Spock let go of the strap and floated free as Kirk's attention intensified.

Spock's second orgasm was a long time arriving and by the time Kirk finally tasted his emission Spock was groaning pitifully and tangling his fingers in Kirk's hair in distress.

Kirk let Spock's satiated body rest for a long minute before turning him back around in the air sideways to himself and onto his cock again. Spock limply allowed Kirk's manipulation of his position. Kirk watched the side of Spock's face, his closed eyes, with some amusement that his powerful Vulcan could be rendered helpless by an orgasm.

"I love you, Spock," Kirk said tenderly as he resumed his thrusting.

Spock roused himself and turned his head sideways to look at him. He watched Kirk's movements until Kirk completed with a moderate but satisfying orgasm. Kirk separated them this time and reached out for a wall. It required a moment to orient himself to the control panel and the portals but after he did so he pushed them both towards one of the bunks. Spock still moved slowly as he assisted Kirk in pulling a blanket and net over both of them. Kirk snuggled against the Spock's relaxed frame into a comfortable position. He finally rested with Spock's hot, slow exhalations drifting over his face.

They napped for a short while. Kirk shifted to get a knee off of his thigh and Spock said suddenly, "You loved Ruth as well."

Kirk ran a hand over Spock's side. "That was a long time ago." He fell silent, remembering the conversation they had had after the incident on the shore leave planet. Finally, he said, "I can't run out on you, we work for the same organization." He tried to sound light about it. More seriously, he added in a whisper, "You already possess part of me. I never gave any of myself to her--I was too scared to. I didn't know what would happen to my identity, my grand plans in Starfleet."

Spock's arms shifted to better encompass Kirk. "And now?"

"I regret how it turned out, but I wouldn't go back and change it. The decision led me here." They lay in silence for long breaths. "I'm sorry I kept us apart so long," Kirk confessed. "I can't lose myself

in you. It is amazing how much I feel more myself with you at my side. I've never felt that way about anyone, ever."

"I am making you too warm," Spock observed.

"I don't care," Kirk murmured into Spock's chest. "Wake me when the ship arrives."

Spock adjusted his hold on Kirk then listened to his breathing as it slowed into sleep. He had a very un-Vulcan gut suspicion that the Enterprise would arrive soon.

He tightened his arms around Kirk as he considered their return to the ship. One mortal Vulcan would have a difficult time competing with an entire starship. He shook his head in the darkness at this lapse of logic. His primary role had been and would continue to be that of protector, without regard for his own desires. The thought gave him a feeling of dutiful purity that he didn't suppress.

He shifted his arms more completely around Kirk's limp form. Kirk required protection from himself more than anything else in the universe. Now that he allowed Spock to protect Kirk's deepest emotions, perhaps he would be easier to look after. Spock hoped this would be the case.

Dearly hoped.


End file.
